Free Hallmark 5×7 folded card: Choose a 5×7 folded card by May 1st, personalize it, and Hallmark will mail it directly to the recipient. Get it free (even the stamp is free) when you select “I Want Hallmark To Mail My Card For Me” at checkout and enter the code: CARD4MOM. You can choose any of the cards — it doesn't have to be specific to Mother's Day.

Free Romance Novels: Accepting your two free Harlequin Intrigue books and mystery gifts places you under no obligation to buy anything. You may keep the books and gifts and return the shipping statement marked cancel. If you do not cancel, about a month later we'll send you four additional Intrigue books and bill you just $4.24 each in the U.S. or $4.99 in Canada, plus 25¢ shipping and handling and applicable taxes, if any. NOTE: Be sure to cancel if you don't want to be charged monthly!

Free Dessert for Moms on Mother's Day: Free dessert for moms on Mother's Day with the purchase of an entree at more than 600 participating T.G.I. Friday's restaurants in the U.S.

Additionally, if you sign up for the T.G.I. Friday's Give Me More Stripes recognition program, you'll get a one-time skip to the front of the line pass and a coupon for a free appetizer or dessert, but turn down your speakers if you don't want to hear canned restaurant ambient noise. Also, the restaurant will send a Buy One Entree, Get One Free coupon to all Give Me More Stripes members who visit Friday's on Mother's Day.

A card, smutty books, and free chocolate: sounds like a darn fine Mother's Day to me!