I used to date a guy whose birthday was April 15th. He said that when he was growing up, his father celebrated by working on their family taxes until the last possible minute and then making a mad squealing dash to the post office.

This used to make me feel sad for him. Now it just makes me smile. I blame Massachusetts.

“Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh.”

Thanks Shaken Mama for the quiz link!

… to my ever-so-exclusive blogroll. Have a nacho. Put your feet up.

I've been a freelancer/consultant for a decade now. I was telling my Writing for the Media students about what I've learned and figured it was good enough for a blog post.

1) Never apologize for a perceived or actual lack of experience in an industry or niche. Spin any inexperience into a positive. For example, if you're bidding to write a healthcare website, say that your lack of corporate healthcare experience is helpful because your questions will be the same as your client's customer's questions.

2) Underpromise and overdeliver. Think you're going to have something done by Saturday? Tell 'em you'll have it to them by Monday. Then send it to them before Monday. Shows you're on the ball. Plus, if you get waylaid by life (it happens), no harm done, you won't have missed your deadline.

3) Always listen to client criticism and thank them for it in your response. The client is who you need to please. If they think enough of your work to criticize your path, then reevaluate. Your work will be better for it, and your client deserves some thanks for that.

Those are my top three. Who else has one?

So yup, it's been a pretty miraculous week. Couple of weeks, actually.

Last Saturday, my two year old strung together his first full sentence, immediately followed by his second full sentence. “The cow says moo. The duck goes quack.” He's very in to cows and ducks. And elephants. Yesterday his nursery school teacher was telling the class a knock-knock joke and Lex shouted the punchline before Peter even got to it. And today I took him out for a pizza and salad lunch and he nixed the high chair in favor of a real grown-up chair, where he remained planted and untethered, happily eating and leafing through his Piggies book, for more than 20 minutes. This has never happened before, as my child is a perpetual-motion machine, and therefore this qualifies as miraculous.

And in the space of four days I located and phone interviewed someone to help my mom with some stuff that needs doing around her house, and helped convince a reluctant Mom that this was a good idea, and yesterday Mom interviewed her and three hours later, hired her. Did I mention that I did this from Massachusetts, and Mom lives in the SF Bay Area? And that the new hire charges the same hourly rate as my teenaged babysitter, and loves to cook and clean and bake? Yeah. Miraculous.

And I received an aforementioned rejection letter from Boston Playwrights' Theatre that not only had handwriting on it, but said that out of 400 entries, my “work in particular remained in the mix until the absolute end of the reading process.” (underline theirs, not mine.) Freakin' miraculous.

And after bemoaning the fact he hasn't got any committee work from his Ph.d school yet, Monstro just got an e-mail saying, “as a member of our Steering Committee, please look at this paper.” Instant committee work, just add water (or ink, or toner, whatever). Academically miraculous in a land devoid of miracle.

*And* I have a new friend, not just any friend but a BFF (she said it first!). It's been so long since I had a new friendship that occurred spontaneously and organically that I can hardly believe that it's true that I actually managed to make a new friend without having to plan or arrange or organize or force it into fruition. And we're like-minded on things like writing and working and raising kids and being sassy and not feeling guilty about tardy e-mails and the ridiculousness (her term) of certain dumb-@ss (my term) people. I'm 36 years old and I've got a new friend. Amazingly miraculous.

AND, most miraculous of all, I went in for an ultrasound this week and in the space of three hours went from believing that Peanut has Down Syndrome to learning that even with the trouble spot on the ultrasound, baby's likelihood of DS is no more increased from that than from my own “advanced maternal age” (their term, not mine). And frankly, having a healthy baby after 1) already having one of those and 2) reading Ella's blog every day for the past 12 weeks, is the most miraculous thing I can think of in this world.

Sometimes people tell me that they don't believe in God and then I have a week like this one and I just want to pat them on the head and say how cute they are, like dumb fuzzy puppies. Because really? It's funny, but true: the more you believe in God, the more He believes in you. And some weeks are all about reaping those benefits.

Don't believe me? Check out the week I've had and try telling me that it hasn't been a miracle straight from Heaven, or that any single one of the items above isn't miraculous.

Uh huh. Yup. Told you so.

If I thought I was disgusted by the previews for that new lie-detector/ruin-your-marriage game show “The Moment of Truth,” imagine how I felt when I read the following on westernmass.craigslist.org:

Are you ready to win up to $500,000 by telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth? “The Moment of Truth” will put participants to the test — the lie detector test — to reveal whether or not they are telling the truth for a chance to win half a million dollars. The challenge is simple — answer 21 increasingly personal questions honestly, as determined by a polygraph, and win up to $500,000. This is the only game show where participants know both the questions and the answers before they begin to play. Prior to playing, participants are strapped to a lie detector and asked a series of questions by a polygraph expert, who records their answers. At any time, between the polygraph and the televised game, participants can change their answers or walk away from the competition. To win $500,000 participants have to tell the truth. Of course, the questions are easier when the stakes are low – but as the prize amount increases, they will be challenged to fess up to matters they might normally lie about. The touchier questions could be especially revealing because participants reveal their answers in front of spouses, relatives and friends, hanging on every word. Female or Male – All Ethnicities – 18 & Over CONTESTANTS.

Please note that the participants KNOW THE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS *before* spilling their guts on TV.

Gross.

Gross-me-out headline of the day: “Bed Discovered in Polygamist Temple.”

There's a sick joke in this about the Joy of Sects, but I sure ain't gonna go there. No, sir.

And *why* has it taken the authorities so long to act? I read about the FLDS sect and their doings in Glamour magazine a year ago. It was a first-person article by a woman who'd been raised in the compound. That wasn't enough for a search warrant? Or do we just leave well enough alone when 15-year olds are forced into marriage with men 40 years older than them, until said 15-year olds complain about it? Hmmm?

Monstro and I are somewhat emotionally hungover from yesterday, and Alexander's little friend was over for three hours this morning while her dad did a fencing presentation at a Springfield high school. Helped a lot, though, that I got an envelope from Boston Playwright's Theatre today.

At first glance it's the standard “thanks-but-no-thanks” form letter, but I was heartened to see that they'd scratched out “Playwright” and hand-written my name in the salutation. And, at the end of the letter, the Artistic Director hand-wrote the following: “The judges thought Bible Study was too long, but I enjoyed reading Lindsay Lohan's Birkin. Thanks. -K”

So yeah, as I said, that helps. Always nice to get a rejection letter with actual handwriting on it. Poor L.L. Birkin, the little play that almost could!

…but there's a 99% chance everything is fine, so all's well, I guess.

Yesterday, Sen. John McCain said “her overall record is very, very meritorious.” Of whom was he speaking? Condoleezza Rice.

Is he high? Or just crazy? Or maybe he doesn't watch “The Daily Show.” Yeah, I bet that's it.

Ready to get really scared? People are saying she's pushing to be the GOP's candidate for VP.

I'm thinking this would be the nail in the GOP's coffin, so maybe it's not a bad thing.