You know that any morning that starts with a call to AT&T ain't gonna be good. AT&T has restricted our long-distance use, though the payment center says our account is paid in full. AT&T has a voicemail tree that's like a freaking' 1000-year-old redwood. Menus upon menus upon menus. And once you've navigated to where you think you want to be, deafening tones burst forth from the handset and then they disconnect you. Effers.

And while I'm on the subject of corporate duality, does anyone out there belong to a bank whose ATMs and deposit envelopes both tell you to insert your deposits with the same face-up/face-down instructions?

In the meanwhile, I've been transferred to AT&T tech support. Pray for me.