So yes, you’ve all been waiting for me to weigh in on the Mary-Kate Olsen health crisis. No pun intended.  I read today that someone wasn’t surprised that she has admitted herself for a one-month treatment for an undisclosed health issue (that bastion of journalistic integrity, “Us,” reports that the twin suffers from anorexia). Apparently this person saw her out for dinner one night: she cut a tomato into six slices and ate it very slowly.

That was it: one tomato.

Of course, the twins’ recent film, “New York Minute,” was deemed a failure by the entertainment industry because it only earned $14 million.

Fourteen million dollars. And it’s a failure.

Any of you ever made $14 million dollars? Yeah, me neither.

The entertainment industry just sucks: portraying unrealistic versions of unrealistic people making unrealistic sums of money for being unrealistic.